Lately, the words of an old hymn have been on repeat in my mind:
What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
I’ve noticed, as I’ve gotten older, that the hymns I grew up singing have suddenly taken on a new meaning. Hardly a day passes that I don’t rehash my gratitude for being raised in and around the church, not least because of the sheer amount of exposure to scripture, hymns, and biblical encouragement that worked itself so deeply into my psyche as I grew up.
There are so many aspects to consider when we think about the person of Jesus. My mind typically jumps to a description like Savior or Messiah. Maybe your first association is to call him the Son of God or God Incarnate. These titles and many others that you’re likely naming off right now are all valid—but, they’re not the primary description that Joseph Medlicott Scriven chose when he penned the hymn above.
Scriven, who faced his fair share of trials and difficulties throughout his life, chose to depict Jesus as a friend.
The sweetness of this hasn’t been lost on me in recent weeks, and I don’t want it to be lost on you, either.
What does it mean to be a friend?
Friendship is an intentional relationship that typically requires the commitment of both parties to continue. There’s no legal or biological tie required to bind friends to one another (though individuals who are family or bound by marriage may certainly have a friendship that supersedes these more permanent ties).
C.S. Lewis puts it this way, in The Four Loves:
“I have no duty to be anyone's Friend and no man in the world has a duty to be mine. No claims, no shadow of necessity. Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
Friendship is completely voluntary, a privileged status among acquaintances. I think that’s why it’s so gratifying to have good friends; to know that there are people who love you for who you are, who enjoy your company, who value your insights, and for whom you can say the same. When my friends achieve something great—when they graduate with a new degree or marry someone wonderful or have a child of their own or buy a house—I’m always genuinely honored to be invited to celebrate alongside them as if it was my own accomplishment.
If this is the joy conferred by earthly friendship, how much greater is the heavenly friendship we can claim with Christ?
Growing in friendship
My friendships are at their best when I can spend quality time with my friends. This seems like a no-brainer, but it’s so easy to get busy and neglect that face-to-face interaction that our hearts seem to have been designed for.
After a game night, a dinner, a book club meeting, or (when I’m lucky) a short weekend away with friends, I’m always surprised at how refreshed and full my heart feels.
So, how do we apply this to Jesus?
At its core, What a Friend We Have in Jesus is really a hymn about prayer, as evidenced by the refrain that appears four times in its three verses: “Take it to the Lord in prayer!”
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer!
Growing in our relationship with Christ isn’t much different than growing in any other friendship: we have to spend dedicated time with him. The primary way we do that is through the discipline of prayer.
(For that reason, I’ve written about prayer a lot—so forgive me if I start sounding like a broken record.)
There are lots of different kinds of prayers. At least, I’ve found that to be true in my experience. I find that they fit roughly into three categories (your experience may be different):
Formal prayer: Like a recitation of the Lord’s Prayer, a Psalm, a daily liturgical reading, or an already written prayer
Scheduled prayer: The prayers that happen as part of a routine, like the one I say before I go to bed at night
Ad hoc prayer: Prayers that happen spontaneously throughout the day, or as needs arise
In order to follow Paul’s order to “pray without ceasing,” to really establish a habit of prayer, I think all three types are necessary. In fact, I actually think they build upon one another.
My goal, for as long as I can remember, has been to spend the day in constant conversation with God. This doesn’t come naturally to me, though. I’m prone to getting lost in thought, and may even forsake a conversation that I’m physically involved in if a sufficiently interesting or important idea strikes at the right time.
So, how do I maintain a conversation? How do I continue to grow in my friendship with Jesus?
Forming a habit starts with the formal and scheduled prayers. These build the foundation for the conversation and will train you to think about prayer more often.
Then: pray every time you think about prayer. If someone expresses a need, stop what you’re doing to lift them up to God. If you are overwhelmed, exhausted, scared, do not entertain those feelings without first asking God for comfort, strength, provision.
Practice prayers of gratitude before meals, when you swipe your card for groceries, or when the weather is nice. Ask questions. Pray out loud, or on your knees. Open your hands.
Jesus is the friend who “sticks closer than a brother,” the intercessor who knows our trials, troubles, and temptations intimately and personally. HIs friendship is unfailing; the comfort he provides is an eternal and abiding peace, one that’s weathered great storms and will continue to do so without fail.
“Draw near to him, and he will draw near to you.”
